All These Things

Friday 23 December 2016 · 2 min read

Hesitation

I’ve hesitated about keeping a steady online blog because it is at odds with the thinking that A) I’m not special, B) it’s all been done before, and C) I’m remarkably concerned about security and privacy. Yet, this thinking prevents me from taking part in the larger conversation, especially around tech, privacy and safety. It prevents me from having my ideas and thoughts challenged, which in turn helps me grow both as a person and as a technologist. I’m extremely interested in the intersection of security, privacy, technology and the laws that will be governing these areas. And, in the coming months and years, there is going to be a lot of talk surrounding this, especially with Trump in office. My hesitation to write about these topics, to lend a voice, to make myself heard has limited my own growth and the chance at contributing.

This hesitation comes mainly from fear. I have a fear of being found out as a fraud, an imposter, someone without any technical chops. I’m afraid my almost conspiracy-like beliefs may give me the label of tinfoil hat lady, where Big Brother is always watching and private companies don’t care a whit about your privacy. There is a deep-seated apprehension of putting my thoughts out there because, inevitably my thoughts will change. This is a good thing though, I tell myself. Rationally, changing your mind shows growth and adaptability. This is not something I should be ashamed of.

So, if my only hesitation is fear, that is inexcusable. Fear should not stop a person from doing something. Fear should be a warning sign—merely a marker of caution—to proceed judiciously. Fear hasn’t prevented me from doing some of the most scariest things I’ve done in the past. It steeled my resolve, nauseated me even, but never stopped me. I want to write about learning new code languages, my thoughts on privacy and security in the tech world, my hopeful attempts at sailing this summer, and the ever present Pugger.

Hesitation no more. From now on, I write.

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